
I have not written many short stories as a writer. I’m more of a novelist than a short story writer, but I thought I would share an excerpt from the novel that I am currently working on. It is tentatively titled Severance.
I thought fondly of my brother.
Right up until he punched me hard enough to knock a tooth loose. Fortunately, it wasn’t one of my adult teeth so I’d only have to deal with a gaping hole until my permanent tooth got over the shock of its predecessor’s fate.
“I told you to keep your guard up,” Kip sounded utterly unrepentant.
I sat up, cupping my jaw gingerly. Blood filled my mouth and I could only be grateful that I was too surprised to cry. I got enough ribbing from my brother for wanting to train to be a bodyguard at eight years old. I would lose all credibility if I started crying about it.
Kip cracked his knuckles, dancing in place. “Get up, royal bodyguards do not have the luxury of lying on the ground if they get knocked down.”
That was another annoying thing about my brother. He was always going on about what a royal bodyguard should or should not do.
As if he knew. He was only two years older than me, at least six years away from the legal age when we could apply to be bodyguards in Ferndale. But he was friends with Prince Reagar and, according to him, that gave him inside knowledge.
I was starting to doubt that more and more.
I stood up and tried to spit a manly glob of blood to the ground, but I didn’t quite get enough force behind it, so I ended up drooling down my chin.
“Nice, Asher,” Kip grinned at me.
“Shut up.” I wiped the drool off with the sleeve of my tunic and put my fists up again.
“Let’s do this…and this time you try to land a punch on me.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
I settled deeper into my stance.
He shrugged and struck out, feinting high, but driving his other fist low.
I blocked the punch, twisted into his space, and rammed an elbow into his stomach. He doubled over, just in time to meet my fist.
Now we were both bleeding.
Kip scowled at me as he clamped down on his nose. “Where’d you learn that?”
“Well, while you’ve been making friends with Prince Reagar, I’ve been learning some defensive moves from Princess Arden.”
“Figures you’d adopt some womanish method.”
“It worked on you just fine.”
Kip chuffed out a laugh. “I guess I can’t fault you for using the same methods I do. Princess Arden, eh?”
“Well, Caden and Trace already have their bodyguards in mind and I didn’t want to end up guarding Princess Yuna.”
We both shuddered. Yuna was two years younger than me and a royal terror.
“And it has nothing to do with the fact that Arden happens to be quite attractive?”
I could feel my face burning no matter how casual I tried to act. “N-No!”
“Uh-huh, guard up!” He swept my legs out from under me before I had a chance to react.
I hit the ground hard, rolling to the side just in time to catch Arden’s eye as she and Caden walked past the training grounds. She tried to stifle her laugh, but wasn’t entirely successful.
I threw an arm over my eyes in mortification. “I hate you.”
Kip laughed. “No you don’t.”
I really like this fight scene. You did a great job giving details about their age naturally rather than just including an information dump. You’ve also shown us some information about the two boys’ personalities. The only problem I have is the mention of so many names. I found it a bit overwhelming. Overall though, I enjoyed this opening scene, and it makes me want to read more.
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Thanks Cheryl! I agree, I introduced too many characters at once….they become more distinct later on, but I can totally tweak it to be a bit more understandable. I appreciate the feedback! 🙂
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